Mar 13, 2008 – Alcohol free 18 years! I was 31 when I put the sauce to rest, for those who know me, know my story & know how much my life has changed since those days. The truth is that putting the bottle down isn’t going to fix or heal you; the journey to your true self & beliefs only begins there. In turn, the last 18 years have been a transformative journey with many rich and transitional chapters. While, I am sure my perspective, opinions and attitudes regarding some of these may change over time (humans should not be static), right now, today, the following beliefs, perspectives, and statements hold true to me.
1.) People are not good or bad; they are a combination of both. Human beings are not as simple as black and white, meaning each individual is not their worst act or behavior. Human beings are full of layers and to dumb each person down to good or bad based on the little we know about those layers is ignorant. In addition, run away fast from those that will not accept that they have bad qualities, run away from those who own only good acts, run away from those who live in their delusional goodness.
2.) People who cannot be honest with themselves, CANNOT be honest with you. They live in a delusional world where you must always hold their narrative to be true, or you will be subject to some type of punishment. Some people either do not possess the capacity to self-reflect honestly (laymen) or do not want to because that ruins their idealized version of themself (disordered and disorganized personality types, addicts). Let them be where they are, they do not have anything to offer other people because they have nothing to offer themselves.
3.) Forgiving others or being forgiven is bullshit. Forgive yourself for being a douchebag, making mistakes, hurting others, & allowing bullshit in your life. It’s not your job to forgive “other” or wait for forgiveness; forgive the more ignorant version of yourself & move on. “Other” can handle their own shit. Society has convoluted the construct of forgiveness by giving its power to “other”. Furthermore, if you don’t have the capacity to look within and forgive yourself, you are not going to be able to look within and forgive another.
4.) Wanting to be liked is a weakness; Respect is where power lies. IDGAF if you like me, furthermore, if you choose to disrespect me, I will condition you to fear me; MF’s need to know that you will get dirty to keep your peace – aka FA&FO. Grace is a construct fruited of those who are like to shame other people; I don’t have any and I don’t want any. I am going to be me no matter how that looks to other people. I am the one who must die satisfied with the way I lived.
5.) Self-acceptance of both your good & bad personality traits, combined with self-honesty & self-awareness will disconnect you from societal basic-ness; there is no turning back. Accept that you are not perfect and that you are a combination of good and bad. If you know your own negative traits, no one can hurt you by revealing them because they are already revealed. Change what you want to change and don’t change what you don’t want to change. In this, accept that some people are simply not meant in your world nor you in theirs.
6.) The only MF you need to understand is yourself; all the answers are there. I say this because the basis for understanding others is to understand oneself. those that do not know themself cannot understand and empathize with others. Don’t start by needing to comprehend why other people behave the way they do, but start by comprehending your own behaviors.
7.) Anger, when harnessed correctly will make you a GD unstoppable force. Society has demonized anger, when it is in fact one of the normal human emotions. Anger should be experienced, however, when an individual does not accept and understand their anger this poses problems. I wake up angry; it is one of my baseline emotions. For many years I was ashamed, so I tried to cover it up and then it manifested as sadness and self-hatred. Now that I accept it as part of me, I use it. Anger is my fire, it is why I am successful in all things I do; it is why I travel the world, why I seek deeper knowledge, why I run up mountains, and why I am the fittest and most disciplined person I know. I am not afraid of my anger; I am afraid of what happens when I do not allow it. I AM UNSTOPPABLE.
Thug life
8.) We are here to experience the full landscape of human emotions. The highest highs can only be experienced due to the existence of the lowest lows; denying & suppressing emotions is a weakness; strength lies in the ability to FEEL IT ALL without allowing it to negatively impact your progress. As the great philosophers have declared, go through the pain, not around it. On the other side of pain and suffering are the grandest pleasantries, however, it you don’t allow the bad, then you will not fully experience the good.
9.) 99% of your “conflicts” are your own internal struggles; resolve your own conflicts & let people be who they are. I have had and still have problems with this. This is my biggest work in process right now meaning understanding when the conflict is solely mine to resolve, or when the conflict is going to require change or acceptance of multiple parties. Finna talk a lot about conflict because it is perhaps one of the most difficult of the human interactions.
10.) Disallowing struggle, challenges, & discomfort will squash your evolution; REASONS, not excuses. You will never evolve if you can’t accept that suffering and pain are part of the process. It has never been the great races or stellar performances that inspired me, it has always been the failures and the performances where I knew that I could have done better that have driven me. Finna be unlimited and accept suffering as baseline.
11.) Be excited as fuck to be you. My second most dominant emotion is excitement. I am truly blessed run a baseline existence of angry and excited. I don’t want to be anything other than who I am.
Fuckin A
i do what i waunt 
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