CONFLICT- I recently had an interaction with someone from my past. I have incredible & difficult memories from our time together. However, even though I don’t want this person in my life, I don’t want to lose parts of my story or self history because shit wasn’t optimal; the bad does not erase the good.

I was receiving calls about this person & those callers would not remove me from their list of contacts, so I reached out. I knew that reaching out may not come to a fruitful end, but it was worth a shot.

The first response was an insult, followed by a threat. I did not respond quickly; when I did I was careful. I told the person I had no negative feelings about them & wished them well while thanking them for the good memories, but would like to be removed as a contact on their accounts & all I can do is ask them to honor my request. The person respond that they did not read the message & sent another message which began to tell me how they were still in conflict with me; It’s been years.

I think about all the “CONFLICTS” I have had with other people over the course of my life. NONE of them were with “other”; ALL of my conflicts have been with myself. Maybe the other person had something to do with bringing MY internal conflict to the surface, but the conflict was inside of me regarding how I feel about myself, the world, & others.

“If I was not conflicted within myself there would be no need to be in a perceived a conflict with another human being”.

If every challenge, confrontation, or opposing force means there is conflict & you must fight for your life, then dig deep internally because the conflict is yours & yours alone. I’ve been there; I have fought people who weren’t fighting & raged battles that didn’t exist with people who didn’t deserve it; all along I was fighting with my own feelings about myself. My only enemy and my only conflicts are with myself.

Separate everything about yourself from “other” and guess what, 99% of conflict goes in the trash yo. Handle your own shit and there will not be conflict at every fuckin turn. Jesus Christ it was exhausting to exist that way. My only war now is me against me and that’s freedom.